Wednesday, January 7, 2009

And then.

Ever have one of those days, no, weeks?

The new year has come and gone and I haven't even stopped long enough to think about a resolution, let alone resolve upon it.

I have, however, come to once again question where I am and what I'm doing... only to find myself at a total loss for answers, leading me down a trecherous path of self-reliance that ends only in a pool of pity and mild depression.

And then.

And then I talk to a sage girlfrieng who reminds me to breathe, pray, count my husband not as the enemy, but as the hero by my side, (did I say pray), and that she could find a new year in a different culture every month of the year for me to decide to start all over with.

And then.

I'm reminded of how much faith I have that God's doing great things in our life and thru Stan's work. And that the sacrifices I am giving are an integral part of that - and suddenly I don't feel quite so out of control anymore. Still a little, won't lie, I'm still supressing evil urges to rip people's heads off... it's just not my own anymore. (I know you've all been frustrated enough to want to rip your OWN head off at some point or another...)

And then.

I laugh a little and the cloud that's been following me around lifts a little... and a little at a time I find I've let the sunshine back in and without anything in life's circumstances having really changed, I feel better.

Remembering to pray can do that for a person.

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